The Flight of the Phallus

Andrew Siegel MD

During the tedious process of boarding an airplane, as I stood in the gateway queue, my eyes caught sight of a poster ad stating the following: Size should never outrank service. This referred to the smaller size regional jets that offer first-class, Wi-Fi and other amenities. Later, I saw another poster ad for the same airline stating: How fast the flight goes isn’t always up to pilot. As a physician interested in language and sexual issues, I find these figures of speech that have double meanings amusing and entertaining.

I can’t think of a more quintessentially phallic structure than an aircraft and a better metaphor for male sexual function and dysfunction than aeronautics. The following are definitions, as they apply to aeronautics as well as the penis and sexual function:

Aircraft: a machine capable of flight—the penis

Pilot: the person who sits in the cockpit and controls the aircraft—the owner of the penis

Cockpit (I really like this word!): the front of the fuselage where the pilots sit—the head of the penis, a.k.a., the glans of the penis

Fuselage: the body of the aircraft—the shaft of the penis

Horizontal and vertical stabilizers of the tail: aircraft parts that provide stability to keep it flying straight—the pelvic floor muscles (ischiocavernosus and bulbocavernosus) that stabilize and support the posture of the erect penis

Flight: the process of flying through the air that includes a launch, a flight pattern and a landing—involvement in sexual activity

Launch: the takeoff—the act of obtaining an erection

Flight pattern: the aircraft’s movement after takeoff—the details of the sexual act

Landing: the conclusion and most difficult part of the flight, which requires skill, precision and timing to perform competently — ejaculation/orgasm

Cruising Altitude: the altitude at which most of a flight is flown en route to a destination—a fully rigid erection
Jet fuel: fuel designed for use in an aircraft—in erectile terms, penile blood flow
Fuel line: the means by which fuel is pumped from the storage tanks to the engine—the penile arteries
Thrust: the propulsive force of an aircraft—the surging power of the erect penis

Throttle: a device for controlling the flow of fuel to an aircraft’s engine—the nerves that control the smooth muscle in the penile arteries (that govern constriction vs. dilation) and in the smooth muscle of the erectile tissue within the penis, as well as the pelvic floor muscles that control the blood pressure within the penis by compressing the penile roots

Failure to Launch: a condition in which the aircraft is unable to get airborne—the inability to achieve an erection

Emergency landing: unanticipated landing before the scheduled arrival time—premature ejaculation

Aborted Landing: when an aircraft is about to land, but the pilot halts the landing and regains altitude deferring the landing—delayed ejaculation

Ground Time: the amount of down time between landing and the next flight—refractory period

Mayday: distress signal indicative of a significant problem with the aircraft or flight—a major sexual failure that disrupts the sexual process that could be an issue with erection or ejaculation

Aeronautics provides an excellent metaphor for male sexual improvement, for example, enhancing function via pelvic floor muscle training. Pelvic floor muscle training programs accord the pilot more control, allowing the pilot to fly longer, fly at a higher altitude, as well as to take off for a second flight with less ground time. One thing pelvic floor exercises cannot do is to turn a Boeing 727 into an Airbus A380, but we all know that size should never outrank service!


Wishing you the best of health,

2014-04-23 20:16:29

Andrew Siegel, M.D.

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One Response to “The Flight of the Phallus”

  1. Prem Griffiths Says:


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