Penis Insecurity…And How To Overcome It

Andrew Siegel MD  6/27/15

shutterstock_side view manjpeg

In a recent article in the New York Times, Seth Stephens-Davidowitz concluded: “The degree of a man’s worry about his genitals is profound…. male body insecurity is not far behind female body insecurity.”  Men Google search “my penis” more commonly than any other body part. Of the top 10 queries, nine involve size, the first and second being “How to make my penis bigger?” and “How to make my penis longer?”, respectively. Questions regarding penis enlargement seem to be primarily a male concern as men make 170 searches on this topic for every one women make

Why Are We So Hung Up (No Pun Intended) On The Penis Is General And On Size In Particular?

  • Hey, we only have one penis so it is a very special and important organ, right up there with the brain, huh? What an unusual organ with a life of its own. So, no shame with the desire for a fine, handsome, well-proportioned specimen without blemishes or flaws and a magnificent locker room and bedroom presence. A man’s relationship with his penis just may be one of the most important relationships in his life!
  • On the subject of brains and penises, it is clear that women tend to think with their brains, and men with their penises. For women, emotional aspects of sexuality reign supreme, whereas for men, the “little” head often dominates, giving the penis a magified sense of importance that is probably undue and unwarranted.
  • The penis dangles in the middle of our bodies and may be the male “center of gravity.” It is always at arm’s length away and is a handy multi-purpose tool, terrific for aiming our urinary streams and certainly a most pleasing accessory. With a little stimulation it enlarges and stiffens—a miracle of nature like watching time-lapse photography—how cool is that? No other body part has that capacity. For those who relish instant gratification, the penis is the toy of choice!
  • Another term for the penis is “manhood,” the penis representing courage, strength, fertility and sexual potency. Our manhood contributes to our masculine identity, virility, vitality, “swagger,” confidence, self-assurance and self-esteem. Concerns about penis size are intensified by cultural messages in which penis size is used as a measure of masculinity.  Did you know that Shakespeare coined the term “swagger” as well as thousands of other commonly used words in currency?  (Thank you for that bit of trivia, Isabelle.)
  • It is human nature to desire not to be middle of the road, but to excel. We want to literally “stand out” from our fellow man. We live in a competitive society in which being average is considered mediocre, like a “C” grade in school, and this is particularly the case when it comes to penises. Ladies, don’t ever tell your man that his penis is “average”!  SPA (Small Penis Anxiety) is a real entity.
  • Our world is “penis-centric” and penis-looking things are usually men’s things – guns, cars, rockets, cigars, skyscrapers, jets, etc.
  • American popular culture dictates that bigger is better, whether it is houses, automobiles, boats, food portions, breasts, buttocks or penises.
  • Undoubtedly, some of our sexual partners want to “size us up,” both literally and figuratively.  Regardless of our sexual abilities and skills, we know that we may be judged and sexual partners may have expectations strictly based on size and we worry that our partners may not be satisfied with our penis size. When we are in a sexual situation we want to feel that we are at least “competitive” with those whom we might be compared.
  • Having a possession that females lack gives us a sense of power—the “sword” versus the “sheath.” In the hierarchy of power, those with the largest weapons have a perceived advantage.  Did you know that the word “vagina” is derived fromt he Latin word meaning “sheath”?
  • The well-endowed male stars in the porn industry have created a bit of an inferiority complex for your average Joe.

Now For The Sad News

Reality check: If there were an effective and safe means to increase penile size, you would know about it already. What you see is what you get. Sorry! Blame your mother and father for the genetic blueprint you inherited. You can’t make your penis bigger any more than you can make yourself taller…it is what it is.

So, What To Do?

The Internet is overrun with male “sexual enhancement” products that claim to increase one’s penis size. They capitalize on male insecurity, which has created a huge market, with hordes of men willing to pay top dollar for products that have misleading claims and are often mislabeled, contaminated and falsely advertised. Unfortunately, such supplements are exempt from the stringent regulatory oversight applied to prescription drugs, which requires reviews of a product’s safety and effectiveness before it goes to market. Please don’t waste your money!

How about surgery? Penile enlargement surgery is risky,  rarely effective and certainly not ready for prime time. Some techniques are “sleight of penis” procedures including cutting the suspensory ligaments, disconnecting and moving the attachment of the scrotum to the penile base, and liposuction of the pubic fat pad. These procedures unveil some of the “inner” penis, but do nothing to enhance overall length. Other procedures attempt to “bulk up” the penis by injections of fat, silicone and other tissue grafts. The side effects can include an unsightly, lumpy, discolored, painful and perhaps poorly functioning penis—a far cry from a “proud soldier” and more like a “wounded warrior.” Please stay away from penile enlargement surgery and the entreprenurial surgeons who advertise it!

So, you can’t make it bigger, but that is not to say that you can’t make it better. You can maximize the magical powers of your pelvic floor muscles to improve both erectile and ejaculatory function by training these hidden, but all-important muscles that play a vital role in erection and ejaculation. The Private Gym is a comprehensive, interactive, follow-along exercise program that strengthens the male pelvic floor muscles–and is the only program of its kind.

A clinical trial of the Private Gym was recently completed. Participants had either no or minimal erectile dysfunction and went through the 8 week program, completing 4 weeks of Basic Training, a series of progressive and graduated “Kegel” exercises, and thereafter 4 weeks of Complete Training using patented resistance equipment.

Preliminary Findings of the Private Gym Clinical Trial

  • Erectile strength: 75% improved; 25% greatly improved
  • Orgasm intensity: 90% improved
  • Ejaculatory control: 40% improved; 25% greatly improved
  • Ejaculatory force: 75% improved; 12% greatly improved
  • Confidence: 90% improved; 50% greatly improved
  • Sexual pleasure: 60% improved; 38% greatly improved

Comments from the participants included the following: “I’m more in tune with my body”; “More confidence”; “Increased ejaculate volume”; “Improved sexual experience”; ”I’m surprised that muscles affected sex”; “I have increased sexual prowess”; “I get pre-cum for the first time”; “Improved premature ejaculation”; “The resistance made a big difference”; “Saved my marriage”; “Now I understand that it needs exercise like any other body part”; “I feel younger”; “I do it during sex and she orgasms”; “Sex is more fun.”

Conclusions From Clinical Trial Of Private Gym

  • Improves ED: Better erections and ejaculation in men with mild ED.
  • Improves Function In Men Without ED: Enhances erections and ejaculation in men with normal function, significant and unprecedented findings.
  • Resistance Accelerates Results: The resistance program expedites the results beyond the capacity of the non-resistance program.
  • Welcomed: The program was enthusiastically and positively embraced.
  • Confidence: A prevailing finding was that sexual confidence and self-assurance improved dramatically.

For more details about the results of the clinical trial please visit:

 So, realistically, in the quest for a larger member, the best we can hope for is to accept the endowment given us by nature and optimize our sexual function by staying fit and keeping our pelvic floor muscles well conditioned. We can’t make it bigger, but we can make it better and cultivate the sexual confidence to overcome penis insecurity.

Wishing you the best of health,

2014-04-23 20:16:29


A new blog is posted every week. To receive the blogs in the in box of your email go to the following link and click on “email subscription”:

Author of Male Pelvic Fitness: Optimizing Sexual and Urinary Health: available in e-book (Kindle, iBooks, Nook, Kobo) and paperback:

Co-founder of Private Gym:–available on Amazon and Private Gym website

The Private Gym is a comprehensive, interactive, follow-along exercise program that provides the resources to properly strengthen the pelvic floor muscles that are vital to sexual and urinary health. The program builds upon the foundational work of Dr. Arnold Kegel, who popularized exercises for women to increase pelvic strength and tone. This FDA registered program is effective, safe and easy-to-use: The “Basic Training” program strengthens the pelvic floor muscles with a series of progressive “Kegel” exercises and the “Complete Program” provides maximum opportunity for gains through its patented resistance equipment.

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One Response to “Penis Insecurity…And How To Overcome It”

  1. finnwest2015 Says:

    Reblogged this on Recked with Finn West.

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